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Little Cock, Arkansas - Today it was theorized that General Wesley ("Lambchop")
Clark (sock-puppet presidential candidate, and heir to the Kimberly Clark toilet paper throne) may also have Multiple Personality
Disorder. This comes as no surprise in light of his contradicting statements regarding the war in Iraq and his scathing
criticism of President Bush. A video tape recently surfaced from 2002 which again shows the good general praising Bush (well
after the tax cuts and the War on Terror had begun, and during Bush's public announcements declaring his intentions in
Iraq - which are now subjects of Clark's new-found criticism of the president). Clark's psychiatrist,
Bob Knobgobbler, explained that General Clark has at least seven distinct personalities inside his "brain." Among them
are Dick Clark, Petula Clark, Clark Bar, Michael Clark Duncan, and Ibrahim Mohammed Clark al-Tikriti (which explains the
candidate's fierce loyalty to Saddam Hussein).
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