Dear 'Tard,
I have a problem. My neighbor owns a Lexus and I've
done all I can to vandalize it. He has worked very hard to give his family a good life, and it's making me look bad. In order
to save face, I've scratched his car, hit it with a hammer, and even stuffed dead cats under the wheels in order to make
it look like he ran them over. So far, nothing has worked.
Now he's decided to build a fence around his house to keep me and my
family out. As a man only concerned with "saving face," this is a tremendous insult to me. What does he think I am, some sort
of car vandal? There's nothing I want more than to vandalize his car, and that fence is a major barrier. In fact, it has now
become public enemy #1 to all of the "progressive" people in our neighborhood.
We have collectively determined that in the interest of "peace," my neighbor
will just have to accept a certain amount of damage to his car. However, the selfish bastard has decided to (one again) put
his family's safety ahead of any "peace" agreements.
My question for you is: should I send my young college-aged hippie doper
daughter to stand in front of one of the steamrollers that is helping to construct the fence?
Signed,
Y.A. (please keep my identity a secret)
Dear Chairman Arafat,
Great question. As a leading 'tard (and democrap), I am
firmly on your side. I would suggest that your neighbor actually perform human sacrifices on his children in order to make
you (and the world) happy. Because after all, appeasing the anti-Semitic Europeans, Americans and Kofi Anan is the
life goal of any good democrap 'tard.
Regarding the steamroller, that's a tough call. It has
been proven that leftist shitbags (especially from Seattle) shouldn't go anywhere NEAR a mound of dirt (because quite frankly
they are indistinguishable from it). Nevertheless, if the goal is to get killed and have the anti-Israel media raise your
daughter to the level of "saint," then it would work (for "progressive" Americans and Euros, that is).
But since your daughter is Palestinian, I say NO. No Palestinian
should die unless he/she takes out at least a dozen innocent bystanders. Since your daughter and "wife" are in Paris spending
those billions of dollars in "aid" you've scammed the gullible Americans and Euros out of, blowing herself up is not an option.
If she were to do that in Paris, her victims would undoubtedly be other anti-Semites, which would hurt "the cause."
Don't worry about the fence. Just whine to Peter Jennings
that it's keeping you from getting to work, or it's preventing little old ladies and babies from getting medical treatment
from the hospital (which is run by those horrible Jews, but you somehow manage to put your anti-Semitism away when it comes
time to get free medical treatment).
Now I have a question for you: When a suicide bomber blows
him or herself up at a maternity ward (killing 20 infants), and an Israeli SOLDIER happens to be walking by (and is killed by
the blast), is the soldier's death considered "collateral damage?" Just curious.
Take care,
The Tard
