After finishing third place in Iowa, Michael Cooper was completely shut out of the presidential debates (just because
of the color of his skin, I might add). The Cooper campaign is doing very well, but while the rest of the candidates
went to New Hampshire, Cooper mistakenly took his message to New Mexico. He's not very good at geography. In fact, he once
tried to book a flight to "New Carolina." And it's best not to even bring up "Super Tuesday."
It's OK, we're still ahead of Kucinich (and there's plenty of time to pull out a big victory in New
Dakota).
Would you like to bitch-slap the so-called "new patriots" on the left (since Bush doesn't seem to want to fight
back)? Here's your chance!
Here's what you can do:
1) Spam the hell out of your friends, relatives, co-workers, or drug pusher.
Email at least ten people the link to this site (and ask them to do the same). Now's your chance to get back at those annoying
people who keep forwarding you urban legends or "jokes" that you've seen a million times! Let talk show hosts, newspapers,
and other media outlets know about the "campaign." You can also mention it in chat rooms, blogs, or websites which feature
"up the skirt" shots of hot soccer moms (send us the link to that one if you find it).
2) Hand out Cooper Cards (Cooper 'Tards?). That's right - order a set of
business cards from us (for FREE, of course) and hand them out at parties, raves, cult meetings (or at the bath house if you
swing that way). All we ask is that you don't waste them on the humor-challenged (militant lesbians, race-baiters,
the po-lice, or my wife). Please give them out to people who you think would dig the site! Just pick which of the card
types you would like (and the quantity - 50, 100, or 150). Your address and other info will be kept
strictly confidential, and I promise you will not be put on the Sooper Cooper Amway/MLM/Feng Shui collective spam list!
