7) The Ultra Poor S.E. Asian
Origin: Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos
Description: The good news is: their children will become engineers. The bad news is: that's not going
to happen for another decade, and in the meantime they are dirt poor. You respect their work ethic, but you wish they would
stop eating all the ducks from the local park. Their kids get their hair done the old fashioned way (a
bowl cut from grandpa), and they dress in rags from the local Value Village. Still, you can't make fun of them just because
they're poor (OK, but only for a little bit)...
Good: Hard working, Places a high value on education
Bad: Gives out pine cones instead of candy on Halloween
Warning: Will spread menengitis throughout your kid's elementary school
8) Sour Puss
Origin: Korea
Description: Unlike the frowning Ruskie woman (who doesn't smile because she is missing several teeth), the
Korean Sour Puss frowns because she enjoys it. She is dour and is always frowning, whether she's having an orgasm or singing
"happy birthday." In fact, you think it may be a genetic trait (but you're afraid to say anything). When she gives you your
change at the convienence store, she will say "have a nice day" in the most insincere tone imaginable (but
she won't put your change in your hand for fear of looking like she's "coming on" to you).
Good: Excellent cook (may even own a bento store)
Bad: Won't come to your block party on the 4th of July
Warning: If she does smile, something's wrong. Call a paramedic.
9) The RAP (Repatriated American Prick)
Origin: (originally) USA
Description: This asshole was such a geek and was so thoroughly disliked in America, that he has spent
the past 8 years in Switzerland, Germany or some other Euro shithole. He's now really into technomusik, French cheese,
and child rape. Due to circumstances beyond his control (deportation), he's back in the good 'ol USA (and he
doesn't like it one bit). He will drone on for hours about the alleged prowess of the Swiss military and how their "neutrality"
(translation: colusion with the Nazis) kept them out of every war in history. He will also brag about the fact that Switzerland
hasn't been invaded in God-only knows how long (seemingly obilvious to the fact that it's because it's surrounded by fucking
mountains). The most annoying trait of the repatriated American Prick is his penchant for calling the rest of us "Puritans,"
because we don't condone adults having group sex with kindergarteners.
Good: umm.... uhh.... knows a lot about wine?
Bad: Obnoxious Jerkoff
