LC Red Ruffansore - Minister of Meaningless Rumors and Press Corps In-Fighting
	LC Mark - Minister of Silly Walks and Football (that's REAL football, not that Euro soccer crap).
	Denita TwoDragons - Assistant Tender of the Fires (that's code for "Has her finger on the button"). Yeah, THAT button!
	LC Steve - Minister of Department of Redunancy Department
	Tha Sickness - Secretary of Health and Human Services
	Flagal - Director of CIA (and Al Qaeda interrogations)
	Dr. Drew - Minister of Executions
	Preacher - Surgeon General (and Secretary of Soilent Green)
	Mad Jack - Secretary of Geeky Pursuits
	Candy Girl - Anti-Feminism Czar
	Large Bill - Secretary of the Navy (and ace poker player)
	Ootar - Sergeant At Arms
	Matt - Secretary of Offense (because the best Defense is a good OFFENSE)
	Chris Naron - Secretary of Beer
	Todd - Secretary of War (and pre-emptive strikes)
	Claudia - Sexy Cooper Intern (with a blue dress, and a mysterious past)
	Cenport - Transportation Secretary (and Official Air Force One pilot)
	Taliesin - Secretary of the Treasury
	GOP Pagan - Press Secretary
	Hieronymous - Statistician, Secretary of Debt, and Gambling Czar
	GI Jane - Minister of Kicking the Crap out of Feminized Men
	Kirch - Anti-Disinformation Minister
	Tikk - Ambassador to France
	Jax - Attorney General
	Patton - Border Enforcement
	Green Bay - Secretary of Porn (and getting hot chicks for the 'Coop)
	Heather - Ambassador to Wherever the Hell She Wants to Go
	Lord Spatula I, K&T - Minister of Smackdown and Bitchslaps
	Emperor Misha I - Future Ruler of the Universe (starting with Texas)