|
When they're not torching ski lodges in Colorado, vandalizing SUV dealerships in California, or blocking traffic
with their little toy bicycles in Seattle, eco terrorists love to spend their time thinking of new ways of getting Ralph
Nader 5% of the popular vote. Why only 5% you ask? First, because ALL Greens know that 'Color Me Badd' has a better chance
of making a comeback than Nader does of ever actually WINNING an election, and second because getting 5% of the
popular vote guarantees Federal Matching Funds the next time around.
In keeping with their tradition
of breaking the law at every turn, Green Party members in 2000 started a scam called "Naders Traitors" (which they mistakenly
spelled "T-R-A-D-E-R-S"). Their intent was to create an online database of people in swing states that would help Gore get
elected (while making sure that Nader got 5% of the vote). The scam went like this: A bisexual Gore supporter in a state where
Bush was a guaranteed winner (like Texas) would instead cast a vote for Nader. In exchange, a patchouli-soaked Nader supporter
living in a "toss-up" state (like Oregon) would vote for Gore.
Never mind that a federal judge shut the whole thing down because it was illegal (and the entire concept showed the left's
complete lack of respect for the Constitution and the right to vote). The important thing was that Gore got elected and Nader
got that crucial 5%. Fortunately, neither one happened! But rest assured, they'll be back again in '04. Let me say a few words
of encouragement to our Green Party (and Anarchist) brothers and sisters: the law doesn't stop you from throwing molotov cocktails
at the police (or smashing out windows at Starbucks). Why would it stop you now?? Besides, the media had an almost orgasmic
response to Naders Traitors last time, and they REALLY want you to do it again. In fact, Laurel Porter (of Portland's Newschannel
8) was so elated at this concept while reporting on it in 2000 that the former janitor at her station purportedly quit
that night (rather than mop up the super-sized "wet spot" Ms. Porter left in her wake).
Even the morons that
can't figure out punch-card ballots are getting in on the act! There is an agreement between Green Party members in Florida
and Democrats in California which states that if a voter in Broward County mistakenly punches the chad
for Pat Buchannan, their counterpart in San Diego County promises to accidentally vote for Lynden Larouche!
|
