McDonald's Gets McNasty

Cooper for President

McDonald's Gets McNasty

Police Groups Said to Be "Furious" over New Ad Campaign

In a further attempt to drive down sales, McDonald's has fired Justin Timberlake and has replaced its "I'm Lovin' It" ad campaign with an authentic hardcore gang-bang inner-city theme ("Eat This Bitch!"). The ads will feature actual gang members of L.A.'s notorious 9th Street Posse, a group wanted in connection with last month's beating death of Colonel Sanders.

As you may recall, McDonald's started their "I'm Lovin' It" campagin in early September in hopes of driving down its customer base. It is working, but not as quickly as they had hoped. In retaliation, greasy chicken giant KFC put out their own ethnic stereotype ads, and are happy to report that sales to middle-class families have completely dried up. It is widely believed that KFC's more aggressive approach is what prompted McDonald's to make their latest change.

Mickey D's "Pussy Posse" - Join Today!

The Cooper for President team has received an advaced copy of McDonald's newest rap ad, slated to air later this month. (Warning: Parental Advisory Lyrics):

"Hey you slut, you ho, you bitch -

Let's go to Mickey D's and get a rib sandwich!

First I rape Shamiqua, then I eat some fries.

She nibble on my dick and make it Supah-Sized

I'll never go down on that skank-ho Trish

Her pussy done smell like a Filet-o-Fish!

I better not have to wait in line -

Cuz I'll come back later, with a loaded "9"

Spittin up food, and actin' like a clown

We're scarin' all the people in Whitey Town.

Whatever I choose, it's my decision

Let my kids run around with no supervision!

So go to Mickey D's all across the nation

With the money you get from reparations!"

(White announcer): "Hey homeboy and homegirl... We're down with you and your inner-city culture. Come on in to McDonald's today. Through the month of December, all single teenage gang mothers, bring in your lil bastard and get a free Homey toy with the purchase of every crappy meal!"

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