I’ve finally figured out who John Kerry reminds me of. It’s been bothering me for several months, but now that
Kerry has apparently gone to a speech therapist, he no longer sounds like a mortician. His transformation is complete. He
is the Music Man.
John Kerry reminds me of the slick Professor Harold Hill in the play that every homosexual high school student
had to be a part of (and every hapless high school student without a date Friday night had to see). Whether you saw it in
person, at the movies, or on video, nearly every American knows the story of the slick salesman who comes to town and tries
to get everyone to buy musical instruments. He does this by instilling a sense of fear into the community (that it’s
going to hell in a hand basket because of a pool hall). His solution, of course, is to start up a band in order to keep the
kids from becoming juvenile delinquents and heroin addicts, which is the normal result of playing billiards. The Music Man
admits that he himself plays pool, but that's OK. This is classic Democrap/Communist thinking. Some people are just more equal
than others.
Kerry is the silver-tongued pitchman, telling us how much danger George Bush has put us in, even though he admits he would
have done everything the same way (except would somehow magically "make it better"). At the next debate, I half-expect Kerry
to jump into a rendition of "Ya Got Trouble."
Trouble Trouble Trouble Trouble….
That’s right, ya got trouble
Here in capital city
With a capital "T" which rhymes with "B" and that stands for BUSH
All Kerry needs is a straw hat and a cane.
Appropriately, Music Man’s running mate looks like he sells kitchen appliances and other associated crap on late
night TV. John Edwards is Info Boy. The ambulance-chasing Edwards looks like he'd be more comfortable
on channel 158 selling real estate (for no money down), as opposed to being a heartbeat away from the presidency.
Of course, the prime demographic for this un-dynamic duo is the Oprahtarians. The Oprahtarians lap up the pitches coming
from Music Man and Info Boy as if it were milk. It doesn’t matter that Music Man has alienated all of our GOOD allies
and emboldened our enemies in a time of war. It doesn’t matter that Music Man’s wife thinks we invaded Iraq and
Afghanistan for oil. And it sure as hell doesn’t matter to the lemmings that Info Boy said just this weekend that he
WASN’T misled by President Bush, nor would he have voted any differently than he did when authorizing force against
Saddam Hussein. Why doesn’t it matter? Because the ‘tards who are going to vote for them were too busy watching
reality TV or reading People Magazine to see the interviews. The mark of a true Oprahtarian is to never read or study anything
outside of Oprah’s Book Club.
So with less than three weeks to go, the election (which should be a solid Bush victory using any criteria you use) is
a tossup. It’s nice to see that at least some in the media have (finally) picked up the suggestion of using Kerry’s
"Terrorism is exaggerated’ comments against him. It’s about bloody time (but is it too late?).
If Kerry wins, thousands of U.S. servicemen and women will take it as the slap in the face it is (and won’t reenlist),
in which case Kerry will have no choice but to reinstate the draft. I smell trouble….
