True story: Four years ago, I had the "honor" of meeting John Kerry in person. I was taking my oldest daughter to a rally for Dick Cheney (soon to be the most villified veep in U.S. history). It's important to note that the event wasn't a "debate," (nor a forum with "guest speakers"). It was a rally for Dick Cheney. Outside the venue (standing off to the side) was a pathetic (local) Democratic senator, along with Senator John F. Kerry. The two of them looked like the two biggest losers on the planet. My immediate reaction was that they looked like the dorks in high school who stood outside the prom, trying to look cool (like they were "above it all," even though they really wanted to be a part of it). True, "the prom" is an overrated experience (depending on the outcome, of course), but the D&D dweebs who couldn't get dates in high school would sometimes draw unnecessary attention to themselves by standing outside the event, trying desperately to look "cool." It looked as pathetic as it sounds.

 

Against my better instincts, I forced myself to depart from the queue and take my daughter over to meet Senator Kerry. I shook his hand and thanked him for his service in Vietnam. At the time, I didn't know much about him (other than he served in 'Nam and was a liberal senator from Taxachusetts). I told him that although I wanted Bush to win, I felt that Kerry would be president some day. He seemed to be happy with that comment (but he still looked at us like the average middle-class losers who would actually VOTE for him). Anyway, we got to meet Dick and Lynne Cheney that day (two very nice, warm people, by the way), and that's what my daughter remembers.

 

Fast forward to the 2004 election. Last night, after Geoge W. Bush gave one of the best speeches of his career, what did Kerry do? Yep, he held a "midnight rally," with his neckbrace running mate (and looked just as pathetic as he did four years ago). Kerry wins the "tackiness" award for trying to pull attention away from Bush on his big night. But worse than that, Kerry has now re-emerged as the self-contradicting projectionist we all knew him to be. In his Ohio rally, a visibly frazzled Kerry once again decided to bring up (is there anyone reading this who doesn't know what I'm going to say?) his service in Vietnam.

 

It's bad enough that he continues to take every valid criticism of his performance in the senate and turn it into an "attack on his patriotism," but it's even worse that his only answer continues to be "I served in 'Nam, and you didn't." Truly pathetic. I shudder to imagine what would happen if Kerry wins this election. I could see it now:

 

Al Jazeera: "Today Osama Bin Laden released another video tape calling for the death of all infidels. He told President Kerry that Americans will soon face an attack which will make 9/11 look like a picnic."

 

President Kerry: "How dare he question my patriotism! And I refuse to let Osama Bin Laden, who could have served in Vietnam but chose not to, define me as weak on terror."

 

Kerry's latest ramblings are only further confirmation that the mainstream media is firmly in his camp. They want him to win, and they'll stop at nothing. For example, Kerry (again) said that Bush "mislead" America into fighting Iraq (even thought Kerry himself said that Saddam had WMD, and that, knowing what he knows now, he still would have voted to give President Bush authorization to remove Saddam). It would be nice (just once) if one of the "journalists" who broadcast Kerry's speeches to point out that if Bush lied, so did Kerry.

 

Kerry's troubles started well before the Republican convention. He didn't get a "bounce" out of the Democratic convention, and his numbers started to slip after two weeks of Swiftvet ads (which, despite what Tim Russert says, have not been "disproven." They may be "disputed," but I suppose I'm just being picky with "Little Russ"). I've now received my copy of Unfit for Command, and I must say it's not quite what I expected. It provides precise details that you simply can't get by watching the talking suits hammer it out on the Sunday morning shows. Again, I don't know how much of it is accurate, but Kerry's own team has admitted that parts of the book are true (including the "Cambodia" story).

 

Last week someting unexpected happened. Kerry's daugters were booed at the MTV Music Awards. Some people say this is simply because the audience wanted to see their favorite rock stars and didn't want to think about politics. I'm calling bullshit to that. As much as I dislike Kerry, if his daughters made an appearance at an event I was attending, I would either just sit there (like Kerry did for 40 minutes on 9/11), or I would politely applaud. Granted, I'm not socially retarded like the people who would attend the MTV Music Awards are, but this is huge. It's a very strong indication that the much-overhyped "youth vote" is either vehemently anti-Kerry, or they're simply not going to vote this year (so what else is new?).

 

Finally, where is Teresa Heinz Kerry? I haven't seen her for a month. Laura Bush is everywhere. I thought Teresa had "something to say." Wouldn't you expect that an "outspoken" woman with a "mind of her own" would come out swinging if her husband's record was attacked? So where is she? The truth is, this is the one thing the Kerry campaign is doing right - they've muzzled the loudmouth. Her innane, disjointed sentences were killing the Kerry-Edwards ticket, so they've shut her up. Gee, I thought Democrats were FOR women's rights. Seems kind of sexist to me....

 

So here we stand, with only eight weeks to go. There are rumors that Kerry is once again ready to shake up his campaign staff. Tad Devine and Mary Beth Cahill should be the first ones to go. In fact, since I'm in such a good mood, I'm going to give the DNC my best advice (for free, I might add). Here are the people who need to be let go immediately (if you want to defeat Bush):

 

Kerry's campaign manager

Kerry's pushy, loudmouthed wife

Kerry's speech writer

Kerry's wig maker

Kerry's ambulance-chasing running mate

Senator Kerry

 

If you do that, there's a good chance you could salvage this campaign.

 

Now go to work.

 

'Coop