Name: The Fourth Reich Description: Although the Allies beat Hitler in WWII, the Nazis have reemerged under the guise of "Palestinian Rights." Groups such as the ISM are rife with anti Semites, and you'll often see them at protests carrying an Israeli flag with a swastika painted on it. This group is also chock-full of self-hating Jewish lawyers who represent admitted anti-Semitic Islamists. Go figure. Their current "cause" is getting Israel to tear down the wall that has prevented so many of them from being killed. How to Incapacitate: Bulldozer

Name: Uncle Joe (Stalin) Description: This man has been the town commie for the last 25 years. He hangs out at the library (since everything at the bookstore he owns in crap). The guy's harmless enough, and unlike others, doesn't try to hide who he is. Lives in his mom's basement and spends his days writing his manifesto. How to Incapacitate: Tell him the Lonely Hag wants a date

Name: Rainbow Brite Description: This category covers all gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and the new category ("questioning") activist groups. This group only cares about two things: 1) Being gay and 2) Telling you they're gay. Since the other activists have taken the burden of personal responsiblity away from them, they don't seem to care as much about blaming Republicans for AIDS or ruining the Boy Scouts (and they let the fag hags worry about the whole "gay marriage" thing). How to Incapacitate: Uh... Bette Midler tickets?

Name: "Pro-Choice" Feminazis Description: At first glance, the photo to the right looks like Daryl Hall and John Oates (being joined by "Pat" from Saturday Night Live). However, these are in fact women. When not spending their time on the golf course (or buying "Mean People Suck" bumper stickers), these lovely ladies like to scare lesbians into thinking their right to "choose" is going to be taken away. How to Incapacitate: Free K.D. Lang CDs

Name: The Muzzled Moron Description: People who are at least intelligent enough to know they have nothing valuable to contribute to the debate will opt for the "I'm being silenced" theme. Most of these gals will invarialby "hook up" with The Noisemakers after the protest. It is a sick relationship that I won't go into here. How to Incapacitate: Pepper Spray

Name: Puppet Masters Description: What better way to give "aid and comfort" to America's enemies than with a good old-fashioned grotesque George Bush puppet? This category covers all "starving artists" (remember: an artist who doesn't get paid for his art is a bum). The various art students and teachers who do this can't wait to brag to their friends about how they really stuck it to the evil Mr. Bush. Don't bother asking them if they've ever made a grotesque Bin Laden or Saddam Hussein puppet (they haven't). These people are proud "Moral Cowards." How to Incapacitate: Flame Thrower

Name: La Resistance Description: Middle class white kids (with nothing better to do) will sometimes completely fuck up their lives and join various anarchist and nihilist groups. Ironically, although people like this are pasty white, have two pencils for arms (and a stack of dimes for a neck), never been in a real fight, never fired a gun, and couldn't punch their way out of a wet paper bag, they parade around in Che Guevara T-shirts and talk about starting a "revolution." How to Incapacitate: Open Fire