Yesterday the future First Lady and I spent several hours honoring the Native American population of the Pacific Northwest. How did we honor them? Slots, mostly (rimshot). Since my mother is babysitting our crumb crunchers for the weekend, the wife and I knew we were going to have a good time last night (after a hard day at the casino). In fact, I was looking forward to watching a few of the DVDs that I haven't been able to look at recently (knowwhatImean? Wink wink, nudge nudge).

 

What I ended up actually watching was much more perverse than anything involving 22 year old sluts reenacting some of the more intimate moments of Abu Ghraib prison. But let me back up. First, I was channel surfing and came upon part of a Memorial Day special on PBS. The segment featured several soldiers who had been wounded in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan. Most of these men had lost legs, some had been burned, and others had their hands blown off. They were being fitted with prosthetic limbs and going through physical therapy. You could tell these young men were in phenomenal shape before their injuries. And without exception they were upbeat, positive, and cheerful. It was simply too painful to watch. Their injuries and sacrifices for the worthy cause of fighting terrorism are being minimized and mocked by Democrats at every turn, and that's what hurt the most. So I switched the channel after about five minutes.

 

That's when I saw the offensive stuff. Extreme Makeover Home Edition had completely redone a woman's home. They even turned the garage into a basketball court for one of her sons. Then the Harlem Globetrotters came in and everyone had a great time. Going from injured soldiers to a happy family who only cares about "b-ball" was a bit nauseating. So I flipped the channel to another station and saw Madonna talking about her concert tour (give me a fucking break). I changed channels again and landed on another entertainment show. The host was talking about the next season of The Simple Life with spoiled billionaire slutburger Paris Hilton. That's when I flipped back to the PBS special. And I didn't change the channel again.

 

It's common knowledge that most Democraps don't believe we're at war. They don't see terrorism as a "real" threat (unless they can score political points with it, while telling the rest of us that the threat is "exaggerated," but say that we're going to be attacked again all in the same breath). So to leftist shitheads, terrorism is (sadly) just a big fucking joke. Unfortunately, it seems America at large is in the same boat. I'm not just talking about honoring America's service men and women on Memorial Day (but it would be a nice gesture). I'm talking about the whole September 10th Fantasyland in which the populace seems to be living. I knew long ago that news and entertainment have now become one, but I can't recall any time in my life when celebrities were idolized as "gods" to this extent. It's disturbing and profane.

 

But let's get back to the topic at hand, Memorial Day. I've pretty much had my fill of liberal bullshit. They say that we should have never gone to war with Iraq, and that we should have "contained" Saddam. Personally, I think he's contained rather well now (in some dank, 9 x 12 foot prison cell, which I'm sure breaks the hearts of most leftist lemmings, because let's face it - they never really did think Saddam was all that bad. After all, he never put a fucking bag on someone's head, at least not that we know of). Anyway, enough of that crap, it's time to pay my respects.

 

I would first like to thank ALL veterans. Whether you actually saw combat, or faked your way into three purple hearts in 'Nam (good morning Senator), you did your duty and made us all safer. Thank you!

 

Next, I would like to thank both of my grandfathers (God rest their souls). Both of my grandfathers served in the Pacific during WWII (one in the navy, one in the army). The one in the army was injured when the Japanese bombed a town in China (where he was repairing jeeps - not the most glamorous job, but he did his duty and fought with honor). The bombing happened while he (and the other men) were attending church services (and weren't wearing their helmets). This kind of thing happened all the time in WWII. Today, the public has a fucking heart attack if a mosque is scratched (even though there is a cache of weapons and terrorists being hidden inside, and people are actually shooting from it). Anyway, my grandfather ran outside with the rest of his men, and a bomb blew up not too far away. Some shrapnel hit him in the head, and cut into his skull. Fortunately, there was no permanent damage. I'll never forget when I was visiting him in California some years ago. I think it was 1986. I was asking him about the war and we veered into the topic of "the bomb." He told me "There are a lot of people today who ask why we dropped two bombs. Personally, I think we should have dropped a few more, including one on Tokyo."

 

Since my wife is Japanese, I have people like my grandfather to thank for winning that war. I can't imagine what the world would be like today if the Nazis and the Imperial Japanese had won. And I certainly wouldn't have been able to marry my wife. My grandfather was a great man. Whenever I'd see him, I'd move in for a hug, and he would extend his hand out and give me a firm handshake. That was his display of affection. It didn't give me a "complex" or make me want to buy a Doctor Phil book. He was a real man, and I respected him tremendously.

 

My other grandfather (the one in the Navy) was injured in the Philippines. Rumor has it he contracted the clap after several encounters with some unsavory women. That's the kind of guy he was. I didn't know this until well after his death. In fact, I didn't know him much at all. I found out a few years back that he actually wrote letters home to my grandmother BRAGGING about his exploits with the whores. I guess even "The Greatest Generation" had its share of Bill Clintons. But I'm still grateful for his service.

 

Finally, I would like to thank Sgt. Donald Walters. Many people have come to symbolize the War on Terror and the War in Iraq (which are one and the same, for you 'tards that STILL can't figure it out). I decided to honor Sgt. Walters because he was the one who killed the men who were trying to nab Jessica Lynch. Remember that story of Lynch "firing until her gun was empty" or "killing enemy soldiers even though she was wounded?" Those stories were false. It was Sgt. Walters who fought to the end. Until recently, it had been reported that he was killed during that firefight. What has now been revealed is that Sgt. Walters was shot in the back while he was being held captive. That's right, Al Gore's precious Iraqi soldiers shot Sgt. Walters in the back while he was in their custody. It kind of puts the whole dog collar thing into perspective, doesn't it?

 

I apologize for veering off course during this Thank You to the troops. Sometimes I just can't hold my tongue (nor should I, really). To the fine men and women who have fought for this country, THANK YOU.