As any fan of the legendary Pink Panther movies knows, one of the things that made Inspector Clouseau so funny was his penchant for choosing "disguises" which only drew more attention to himself. The poor, hapless inspector (who would have gone virtually unnoticed) made it a habit of disguising himself as a gangster, hunchback, or clay-nosed dentist.

 

That's the situation Portland Oregon attorney Brandon Mayfield finds himself in. Mayfield (a convert to Islam and husband of an Egyptian born woman) recently spent two weeks in the pokey in what the FBI was certain was a connection to the March 11 terrorist bombings in Madrid. According to the FBI, Mayfield's fingerprints were found on a bag containing detonators in Spain. The problem is, the prints weren't Mayfield's. Furthermore, Mayfield hasn't even left the country in over a decade. This week, the feds released him, and now he is (understandably) upset.

 

However, like Inspector Clouseau, Mayfield seemed determined to only bring more attention to himself. Instead of coming out and saying how upset he was that the FBI made a mistake in the fingerprint matching department, how he's happy to be out of the slammer, how he's grateful to the community for showing their support, or that he just wants to be left alone with his family to get his life back in order, Mayfield has essentially put on a hunchback costume (complete with helium-filled hump).

 

Here's a bit of advice to any and all converts to the Religion of Peace who are incorrectly accused of a crime - don't play the "persecution" card. I know it's difficult, but please think of your family. When this story first broke, I (like most Americans) thought "Oh no... Here's another one." However, I quickly grew suspicious of the evidence, and like most Americans was disappointed that the FBI (apparently) screwed the pooch on this one. Even though initial tests on the fingerprint matched Mayfield's, they turned out to be incorrect. They are in fact (according to the Spanish Policia) the fingerprints of an Algerian national.

 

So the FBI screwed up, and Mayfield had the perfect opportunity to prove that Islam is the "religion of peace," and that not all Muslims are terrorists. What does he do? He immedately gives the willing media a sob story about how Americans are all "living in fear of their government," and (drumroll, please) he was "only being targeted because of his religion." Well, with all due respect, bullshit. Even if Mayfield was targeted because of his religion, it would have been justified. After all, he attended the same mosque as the dreaded Portland Seven (who all admitted planning to go to Afghanistan to kill US soldiers, and plotting to blow up a school or two in the USA).

 

Furthermore, the print which was mistakenly attributed to Mayfield belongs to an Algerian Muslim. Is that person also being targeted merely because of his religion? When you think about it, the inital suspicions from the FBI were perfectly valid. The fact that the investigation and his arrest were leaked to the media was unfortunate. I agree that Mayfield is owed an apology and an explanation.

But by playing the "John Ashcroft is evil" card, Mayfield has only drawn more attention (and suspicion) to himself. Why couldn't he just address what actually happened to him (the FBI fucked up) instead of caterwauling about his religion? Let me be perfectly Frank here. Americans ARE suspicious of Muslims. We know it's not "all Muslims." But when you pretend like you don't understand why you would be considered a person of interest (especially given the history of the mosque you attend) you don't fool anyone (except for the leftist lemmings of Portland, who are pretty much brain dead as it is).

 

Let's hope that there isn't anything MORE to the story. Time will tell. Oh, and all Peter Sellers fans will be happy to know that the Pink Panther movies are out in a new DVD Box Set. You can pick it up at Costco for about $40. Au revoir.