19) The Devout Papist
Origin
: Mexico, Philippines
Description
: This person is the reason why they now sell those tacky Jesus candles at Winco. He's also cornered
the market on tapestries of the Virgin Mary. This man strictly follows the teachings of the Catholic Church, and although
he drives drunk and beats his wife, he figures he can make it up by cranking out even more kids than he already has.
Good: Will fight back at the gay agenda being promulgated in the public schools
Bad: Hypocrite
Warning: Will mow down an entire family while driving home from a topless bar
20) The Successful Businessman (or Woman)
Origin
: South America, Africa
Description: Although most racism is denounced in our society, there is still one group of people that it seems
to be "open season" on - successful (self-made) minorities. Once an immigrant from South America for example works his or
her way up the ladder, they seem to "lose their ethnicity" and will no longer be considered "Hispanic" by the jealous losers
in the NAACP or the Esses-First movement. Miguel Estrada and Colin Powell are the two most recent examples of this, and racial
epithets will be hurled at them (by the Jesse Jacksons of this world) until the day they die. Oddly enough, calling Colin
Powell a "house nigger" or an "Uncle Tom" is considered perfectly acceptable to the P.C. NPR crowd (as long as the asshole
saying it is a homey or esse race-baiting shakedown artist).
Good: Intelligent, Hard working, Successful, et al
Bad: Should really stick up for themselves once in a while
Warning: May get tired of fighting the Race Mafia and just become a Democrat
21) Clown Head
Origin: Japan, (sometimes) Korea or Taiwan
Description: Most Japanese business women (or foreign exchange students) are quite skilled at the art of applying makeup.
However, that isn't true for everyone, and a small fraction of the population tends to put on five layers too many of white
foundation (which makes them look like something out of Kabuki theatre). Combine that with over-the-top red lipstick and a
Mr. Spock haircut, and voila, you have the Clown Head! None of her friends will say anything to her (because women ALWAYS
want at least one ugly friend around to make themselves look better by comparison). The clown head is harmless, but you know
deep down that if it's "closing time," you'd do her in a minute!!
Good: Entertains the kids
Bad: Voice is loud and obnoxious
Warning: She will tell EVERYONE if you "do it" (so stay sober)
