This week, National Security Adviser Dr. Condoleezza Rice found herself once again in the middle of a firestorm. Officials within the Clinton administration (in a blatant attempt to defer attention away from themselves) charged that they had warned the incoming President Bush about the emergence of so-called "boy bands." Dr. Rice is scheduled to meet with the "Commission on Why Music Sucks So Badly Today" later in the week.

 

The charges have once again thrown the White House through a loop in this rocky election year. Polls show that the race between President Bush and Senator John Kerry to tightening, and the accusations that the Bush Administration ingored the N'Sync threat (if true) are certain to damage his credibility. This could end up being a major factor in the election.

 

"These allegations are completely false," said Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, on this week's Meet the Press. "We knew about The Backstreet Boys, and we were doing everything we could to stop American pop music from getting any worse than it already had become." Vice President Cheney was even more direct in his defense of President Bush. "Ask yourself this question - When did Hanson, O-Town, and 98 Degrees become so prevalent? That's right. In the 90's. President Bush and I are having to clean up just another in a long line of messes that the Clinton Administration has left for us."

 

Clinton's former Secretary of State, Madeline Fugbright was quick to point out that the whole "American Idol" phenomenon happened on Bush's watch, and he should have had ample warning. She initially blamed Dr. Rice for the popularity of such talentless hacks as Ryan Seacrest (a charge she backed off from later in the day). Both sides agree on the need to fight schlock rock music and feckless entertainment, but each side has a completely different approach. The Democrats seem content on treating this on a case-by-cases basis, whereas the Bush Administration sees this as a global threat which demands preemption on several fronts.

 

Scholars are quick to point out that Boy Bands (although seemingly everywhere these days) are nothing new, given such groups as The Monkees and 1410 Fruitgum Way (which started during the turbulent LBJ Administration). Cultural scientists and music experts have been furious at BOTH administrations for not doing more to combat what they see as the death of music itself. Noted music expert Joe Somebody told the commission that there are virtually no good music acts today. "There's no Queen. There's no Eagles. And there sure as hell will never be another Beatles if this trend continues," he said to loud applause. Too true (and sad).

 

Dr. Rice's appearance before the commission could not come at a worse time for the administration. It has been announced that American Idol reject (and Vice Presidential candidate) William Hung has just signed a record deal.