Dateline: Seattle - Gary Ridgway (54) admitted in court today that he is in fact the "Green River Killer." This legendary mass murderer (for those of you who don't live in the Pacific Northwest) confessed to killing at least 48 women over a 20 year period (most of whom were prostiutes). Today's bombshell announcement was a major disappointment to criminal defense lawyers across the country, who repeatedly pointed out that with minimal effort, Mr. Ridgway would have easily become a hero to leftist America haters around the world.

 

The most obvious path (completely missed by Mr. Ridgway) would have been to convert to Islam. Everyone knows that "the religion of peace" has a very dim view of prostitutes. In fact, the recent Nobel Peace Prize winner (Shirin Ebadi, a woman from Iran) has now been assigned armed guards due to the enormous number of death threats she has received. According to "Islamic Law," a woman is considered to be a "gutter whore" if she simply shakes the hand of any male other than her husband (which she did). Since the Sesame-street mentality leftist media, numerous America-hating college professors, and Trojan horse 'peace' groups are always defending Islam as the "religion of peace" (and far superior to Christianity), Mr. Ridgeway would have done himself some good by converting. That horse has now left the barn, and he has no one but himself to blame.