In early 2001, I was having lunch with a colleague from Hong Kong who was in town for a couple of days. At the time, there was an unprecedented level of "buzz" surrounding something we were all told would "revolutionize the world." The hype (actually "hysteria") surrounding this product was like nothing I had experienced in my lifetime (bigger even than "New Coke"). To sweeten the pot, the inventor (Dean Kamen) invited a handful of people to his ranch to witness first hand this new device. Kamen was no bullshit artist. He had an excellent track record of inventing things like a new dialysis machine and a wheelchair that could climb stairs. Jeff Bezos and Steve Jobs were both extremely impressed. In fact, Jobs told the press that "cities would be re-designed because of this."

 

At the time, the invention didn't even have a name. The invention was initially called "it," then it became "Ginger." What could this invention possibly be? Some speculated that it was a flying car. Others thought it could be a "hoverboard," like the one in "Back to the Future 2." I was hoping for something more practical, like X-ray specs, or edible underwear that doesn't bunch up. But that's just me....

 

It's embarassing to admit that I (like many) bought into the hype. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I told my colleague that within a year's time, there would be an invention that would revolutionize the world and (once again) it would come from America. I wanted him to know that I knew before he did (you know how that works). He wasn't buying it. He didn't believe one word.

 

Fortunately, I never had the opportunity to meet with Mr. Lee again. I changed careers. And it's a good thing, because he would have laughed in my fucking face if he knew that the "revolutionary" invention I was so excited about was nothing more than a "scooter that's really hard to tip over" - otherwise known as the Segway Human Transporter. What a joke.

 

Don't get me wrong. It's an OK invention (I suppose) but the hype made it that much more disappointing (like "Lost in Translation" was). All this "it won't tip over" stuff was also overdone. Hell, one of those things almost KILLED President Bush. But more importantly, do we really need this device?

 

Americans are already fat enough as it is. Why? Apart from our huge restaurant portions, Americans just don't get enough physical activity. In Japan, for example, people walk everywhere. They walk to and from train stations, subways, and just generally all over the place. Of course, Americans looking for the fabled "easy way out" will attribute the fitness of the Japanese people to drinking green tea. Green tea may have some benefits, and Japanese people may have a genetic predisposition to being thin. But walking several miles a day is one of the things that keep Japanese people in excellent shape.

 

The Segway was designed for people who have to do a lot of walking at work (like mail carriers, warehouse workers, and Jehovah's Witnesses). This is a collosal bad idea, and companies who buy into this scam are only setting themselves up for fatter employees. If you have employees who need to do a lot of walking, save the $5000 you were planning on spending on a Segway, Ginger, Mary Ann, or whatever the hell it is, and buy them some really comfortable walking shoes. And if you're an employee who has to walk all day, just shut up and thank God that you didn't end up like the supermodel at the top of this page.