The Worst Commercial in the World
I’ve dedicated a lot of pixels on this site to skewering retarded commercials. And GOD there are some stupid ones
out there. It’s tough to keep up with all the moronic trends in advertising. In fact, I just realized I neglected to
include one of the most idiotic features of a bad commercial – a fake British or Australian accent. There’s nothing
as painfully embarrassing as listening to some guy from Ohio trying to sound like the Crocodile Hunter (saying "blimey" about
15 times) as he tries to sell you a car.
But that’s not what this rant is about, for I have just heard the absolute WORST commercial on the air. It may in
fact be the worst commercial in history. It’s a Public Service Announcement put out by the Partnership for a Drug-Free
America. Remember these geniuses? These are the same Mensa members who gave us the "This is your brain on drugs" commercials
ten years ago. And as bad as THOSE commercials were, the Partnership has outdone itself.
Their new radio spot begins with a man saying, "I’m a hypocrite." He then assures us he’s NOT a vegetarian
who wears leather shoes (ha ha), but he’s a different kind of hypocrite. He used to smoke dope, and now he’s telling
his son to NOT smoke it. Therefore (we’re supposed to believe) he’s a hypocrite. What a steaming pile of shit.
This is clearly a lazy person’s way of getting their message across. Rather than use logic or critical thinking skills,
the Partnershit for a Drug-Free America takes the coward’s way out – by trying to redefine "hypocrite" (so that
it loses its punch). You know how homos now call each other "queer?" How about people redefining the words "family" or "patriotism?"
This is just another example of Marxist language manipulation. The Partnership is simply unable to cope when a 15-year-old
stoner calls his dad "hypocritical," so rather than try to WIN the argument, they figure they can just redefine the word,
embrace it, and move on from there.
Think about the word "hypocrite." It means somebody who does something that he/she tells everyone else NOT to do. Newsflash:
If the dad in this commercial does not CURRENTLY smoke pot, he is NOT a hypocrite. It’s an easy argument to win, but
the dumbasses who created this PSA were just too damn lazy (or stupid). Here’s a good example: What about an ex-felon
who got involved in gangs and drugs at an early age, went to prison, then turned his life around? Is he a "hypocrite" when
he tells young people NOT to waste their lives as he did? Of course not. But using the "logic" of this commercial, if this
man doesn’t actively ENCOURAGE kids to join gangs, he’s being a "hypocrite."
By the way, there’s nothing hypocritical about a man drinking beer and telling his underage son he can’t drink.
There’s nothing hypocritical with the dad in this crap-can PSA telling his son not to smoke pot. This may come as a
shock to the Maoist "it takes a village" crowd, but I’ll say it anyway: Human beings learn from their mistakes, and
they pass that knowledge (good and bad) on to their offspring. That’s what makes us superior to animals. Stop being
such pussies and opting for the easy way out. If you’re not being hypocritical, don’t accept that label. If the
Partnership for a Drug-Free America wants to REALLY show a commercial with a hypocrite, they could just do an ad with John
Kerry talking about how George Bush "hasn’t made America any safer," (even though Kerry has done all he can to block
any progress in fighting terrorism). Now THAT’S a fucking hypocrite.
For more retarded commercials, click here
