Responding to McDonald's new 'homie thug' advertising campaign, fast food rival KFC has hired the man hailed
by MTV as the "Ulitimate Wigger" to help lagging sales. Reginald Cogsworth III (known on the 'street' as "Nig-nog Bitch-Slapp
Pimp-Dogg") will be creating several new inner-city-centric commercials in order to get as many single teenage gang mothers
and ghetto thugs as possible to eat at KFC (as opposed to the upscale sushi restaruants they currently frequent).
Cogsworth (25) was born into an affluent white family, and grew up in an upper middle class
neighborhood in Southern Florida. In the mid 90's, he became fascinated with Justin Timberlake and Emenemenem. He won
"Wigga Star Search" in 1999, and was prominently featured in MTV's "Real World, Dogg!" In late 2001, Cogsworth had
"racial re-assignment surgery," and is now completely African-Americanized (it is rumored that he was able to purchase
Michael Jackson's original nose on ebay). In addition to the ads, KFC has changed its long-running slogan
from "Finger Lickin' Good" to "Lip-Smakin' Bootylicious." Sales are sure to plummett (but who are we to tell KFC what to do?).
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