Mel Gibson's smash success "The Passion of the Christ" is slated for release later this month in his adopted homeland of Australia. The film (renamed for cultural reasons to "The Passion of the Crikey") has already received tremendous praise in the Aussie press. A private screening was held this week in Sydney, with only a few thousand whiners (er, "concerned protesters") claiming the movie will encourage anti-Semitism.

 

When asked to comment on the so-called "controversy" surrounding this movie, Cardinal Bernard O'Toole had this to say, "You know, mate, up until now, the whole stereotype of Jewish people being paranoid whiners had pretty much died out. If they keep whining about this movie, they're only going to revive that caricature." The film (which has already grossed $150 million in the United States) is expected to earn even more worldwide (prompting people like Andy Rooney to ask "how much money will Gibson earn off the crucifixion of Christ?"). What an asshole... (That last bit was an editorial by the Cooper for President staff. Got a problem with it? Tough!).