Here Are the Top 10 Ways the Democrats Will Disgrace Themselves (and by extension, everybody else) Before the Election:

10) Propose an amendment banning the use of the word "crusade" or any variant of "The Crusades" (so as not to offend the Religion of Peace). In the new Batman movie, our hero will now be known as "The Caped Jihadist").

9) In what will later become known as "The Mother of All Wardrobe Malfunctions" the Democrat convention will be ruined by a stunt pulled off by Justin Wiggerlake and Michael Moore.

8) Open up two new phone numbers for people to come forward with ‘proof’ that Bush lied about his military service:

West of the Rockies, call 1-800-555-****

East of the Rockies, it’s 1-800-555-****

7) With his whole "New Patriotism" bullshit behind him, lunatic General Leslie Clark will declare himself a "Diet Lemon-Lime Patriot, with 30% Less Sodium." Nobody will pay him the slightest attention whatsoever.

6) At the Democrat convention, after booing the Star Spangled Banner, the progressives in attendance will crucify a Boy Scout (then hand him over to NAMBLA in the interest of "tolerance").

5) Showing her solidarity with the ‘Palestinian cause’ Senator Hillary Rotten Clinton will propose the new government-funded Center for Missing and Exploded Children.

4) At the convention, John Kerry will admit he doesn’t know JACK SHIT about aircraft carriers ‘for real,’ but will wow the crowd with his detailed knowledge of cruise ships and luxury yachts.

3) Michael Moore’s Mockumentary about 9/11 will provide proof of Halliburton’s involvement in the Sept 11^th terror attacks. The film (called Fahrenheit 911) will also feature several references to "the Grays" and "Shadow People."

1) Hire a renowned historian (Mel Gibson’s Father) who will declare to the world that Saddam never gassed the Kurds (and besides, the Kurds are just a bunch of whiners who should just ‘get over it’).