Origin: Middle East

Description: This man (and his family) are the reason you still believe that "not all Muslims are terrorists." This guy is just like the rest of us, and you feel good living next door to him. No matter how many sleeper cells are broken up in this country or how many traitors are discovered working as translators for the Army, you can always point to THIS guy as the reason you still believe that the majority of American Muslims are decent people (still, you can't help but remember that Mohammad Atta's neighbors said exactly the same thing about HIM).

 

Good: Hard working; Friendly

Bad: Doesn't drink, so you'll never really be friends

Warning: If his kid stays home from school, don't let yours go!

 

 

Origin: Asia (except Japan), Middle East, Russia

Description: In some "cultures" (and I use that term loosely) bargaining for goods is a way of life. There's no such thing as a "fixed price" for a piece of fruit in Morocco or a couch in Zagreb. Due to extreme ignorance, these people just don't seem to get the clue that in America, cars and houses are pretty much the only items you should haggle over. Using your scary-loud negotiating skills on the cashier at K-Mart to get an extra $1.00 off a curtain rod may have really impressed the girls back in Outer Mongolia, but it looks retarded here.

 

Good: Saves 75 cents per month on paper towels

Bad: No social skills or decorum

Warning: Will come to your garage sale and piss you off

 

 

Origin: Jamaica (sometimes Africa)

Description. This Bob Marley wanna be is the most annoying person in your town. He loves Jamaican "culture" and reggae "music," and will nauseate you with his endless singing of tunes about smoking dope. This guy is the living embodiment of "Don't Worry Be Happy," and you wish he would just shut the hell up and get back to work. Other variants are the Whistling Idiot and the Hummingbird.

 

Good: Rhythm

Bad: Tone deaf, but doesn't care

Warning: May develop a penchat for rap "music" (at which point his racism will become much more blatant).

 

 

 

Immigrants #3: Ultra Poor S.E. Asian, The Sour Puss, and the R.A.P.