13) Cutie Pie
Origin: Mostly Japan, S. Korea (sometimes Taiwan)
Description: Going against the current "ho" and
"slut" culture embraced by most women in this country, the Cutie Pie is a breath of fresh air. As the name states, she
is quite attractive, but there's such a thing as being 'too cutesey wootsie' (and she is just that). You'll recognize
a Cutie Pie by the large number of stuffed animals she has on display in the back window of her car (usually a Honda).
Other accessories in her car include a box of kleenex (mandatory in most Asian cultures) or possibly even curtains (yech!).
You almost expect to hear cute "music box" tunes coming out of the car (like an ice cream truck). Fortunately, that trend
has not started (yet)...
Good: Very cute, feminine
Bad: May lead you on (but won't even
consider sex before marriage, and her parents won't let her marry outside of her race)
Warning: May be a slut trying to "over-compensate"
14) El Cowboyo
Origin: Mexico
Description: This tough hombre is a
carbon-copy of the line-dancing white trash you'll see at rodeos (except he doesn't speak a lick of English). He's got
the cowboy boots, Garth Brooks homo hat, and possibly even a lasso tied onto his belt. Like white trash cowboys,
El Cowboyo has the mandatory Texas shaped (and Texas sized) belt buckle. But unlike his white counterpart, this guy is strictly
heterosexual (and has actually rounded up cattle for a living). Here's a fun game to play with your kids: The next time you
see an El Cowboyo, look at the length of his wife's hair. If it's so long that it drags on the ground behind her, you owe
me a dollar!
Good: Hard working
Bad: Drives intoxicated
Warning: Rapists and ex-cons love to blend in
with the El Cowboyo crowd
15) The Cro Magnon
Origin: ????
Description: This specimen may be from some
lost tribe in South America or some as-of-yet undiscovered island. He looks like the second guy from the left
on the Evolutionary Chart, and he seems uncomfortable wearing clothes. Your curiosity regarding where he's from will
overwhelm you, and you will have to look through your grandma's National Geographic collection to solve this mystery.
In the meantime, you can get your kids to behave by saying that he's one of those "head-hunters" from that
episode of Gilligan's Island.
Good: Builds great tree-houses
Bad: Difficult to understand because of the plate
in his lip
Warning: May fall back into cannibalism
if the economy doesn't pick up
